do you want to have sex?

okay. so I've been thinking. about sex

if I'm ready. y'know. to do THAT.

and if and when I'm ready, HOW. like I've been going through scenarios in my head.

like will I use protection?

will I be on the pill?

what if the condom breaks

what if neither of use uses protection

what if I get an STD

what if I get pregnant.

honestly, I'm really only worried with the STD one.

what I mostly spend time thinking about is where.

and with who.

usually, what comes to mind, is in a car. with Spencer.

why a car? because.

and now I'm thinking, if I asked him if he wanted to. what would he say?

I'm not saying I'm going to ask him, I'm just super curious as to what he would say.

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm not ready. if that makes sense.

I'm just worried it's going to be like that one Degrassi episode where that one Indian chick has sex with that one guy who acts like he's too cool for her just cause he's older than her, and afterwards she's like "it was scary and awkward and I don't want to ever do that ever again" and its just drama drama DRAMA. because that would just really not be good.

Last Day Dream [HD] from Chris Milk on Vimeo.