its fall!

okay you guys, first day of Autumn was yesterday! yippee! and I don't know about you. but where I'm at, its already freaking cold. love it.

you have no idea how much I love fall. favorite season hands down. I love the trees, and the cold rainy grey weather. no, I'm not all goth and depressed or anything, I just think rain is really nice a relaxing.

So anywayzies, I've been mildly sick for about two weeks, not sick enough to stay home and wallow in my sorrow all day, but sick enough to feel sorta crappy. so I didn't want to get anyone else sick... so I've barely touched my boyfriend during those two weeks. because the one time he tried to kiss me, he spiked a fever. I don't even know why I just told you that. but I did.

On another note,

here.

cold morning from Shuka4 on Vimeo.

do you want to have sex?

okay. so I've been thinking. about sex

if I'm ready. y'know. to do THAT.

and if and when I'm ready, HOW. like I've been going through scenarios in my head.

like will I use protection?

will I be on the pill?

what if the condom breaks

what if neither of use uses protection

what if I get an STD

what if I get pregnant.

honestly, I'm really only worried with the STD one.

what I mostly spend time thinking about is where.

and with who.

usually, what comes to mind, is in a car. with Spencer.

why a car? because.

and now I'm thinking, if I asked him if he wanted to. what would he say?

I'm not saying I'm going to ask him, I'm just super curious as to what he would say.

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm not ready. if that makes sense.

I'm just worried it's going to be like that one Degrassi episode where that one Indian chick has sex with that one guy who acts like he's too cool for her just cause he's older than her, and afterwards she's like "it was scary and awkward and I don't want to ever do that ever again" and its just drama drama DRAMA. because that would just really not be good.

Last Day Dream [HD] from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

monolith

MONOLITH WAS FUCKING AWESOME!

It's really something everyone should experience at least once.

everyone there is so hip and friendly and awesome.

Emily got super down and dirty with one of the guys there, I didn't, because I'm taken and I would NEVER ever do that to him.

it was fun. next year. I'm definitely going. fo sho.

monolith

photography by: everyoneisfamous.com (he has amazing nightlife shots)

I'm going to monolith bitches! come with me! it's going to be amazing!

I'm currently eating a warm bun and drinking hot coffee, mmmmmmmmm. so good.

I probably should go and get ready.... yeah. okay.

higher and higher

So first off, I saw Obama's "pep talk" to students today. my opinion? what the hell was so controversial about that speech? it was an inspiring and uplifting speech. It made me want to work harder for my goals. it really opened my eyes and made me say "wow, I can do this, I can do whatever I want" and hearing someone tell me that I can be who I want to be made me feel special. and that message coming from the president? yeah, you best believe I'm goin' to be gettin' it done. for sure.

btw, thats a pic of me when I was a youngin'. I think thats when we were still living in NY.

Finally, I got the chance to go to the gym. it was great, I feel so much ligher and healthier. plus, I biked there. amazingness. I feel a lot better now.

by the way, happy labor day! so far, mine has been great.

I think everyone should do something they normally wouldn't on a regular monday, like go shopping. or go to the gym. or go hiking. or go to vitamin cottage or sunflower market and get some totally awesome burt's bees skin care products! thats what I did! horray! facial cleanser! whee!

anywayzies, I'm looking on urbanoutfitters.com for a cool book, and I found this. I think I'm going to seriously buy it, it looks like a great read. fucking buy a book and read it, you liitle twat. god.

things you need to do to look cool:

#1 go to the gym

#2 shop at U.O

#3 read.

#4 have a pet tiger

#5 combine 3 and 4 (aka read a book about training tigers)

4 and 5 are optional. but whatever. it's your choice to be fully cool, or only semi-cool.

The Drums - "Let's Go Surfing" Music Video from Pheasant Plucker on Vimeo.

butter cup

let me kick this to you right quick:

spencer is the cutest thing ever. He's so different. in a good way. and I really never realized just how artistic he is, he's into graphic design, and he just now ordered a Nikon D40 (I think, maybe it was the D60, thats what he should have gotten, because he would have gotten a free lens with them from his Uncle, who just happens to be a professional photographer himself, and does ads for skate magazines and stuff like that) but anywayzies, here's spencer's gallery

so. I finally got my iPod fixed, and I just now realized that every single guy working at the apple store is cute. Like, I mean, REALLY adorable. I don't know if I've told you this before, but I've had a fling with an apple store employee, yes. well, not really a fling, basically, I got his number and we texted non-stop, and the one time he asked me on a date, I didn't go because I had plans with a girlfriend that night, and then one night he asked me for nude pics, and that was that. which brings me to my next point: things you should NEVER do for a guy;

#1 send nude pics.

thats so junior high. I mean really. not that I sent nudie's to my guy friends in middle school, I would never do that (I'm serious, I know it sounds like I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not) and fine, you want to see me naked? lets have sex. you can see me naked when we have sex, but 'till then, chill, kaysies?

#2 take it up the butt.

NO. ouch! do you want a sore bum? didn't think so. how 'bout you just have sex like a normal person. mmkay?

#3 blow job

ew.... thats so nasty. he should be doing that to you. yeah, next time he asks you to give him one, strap on a dick and tell him to blow you. yeah. see how he likes it. word.

#4 hand job

god, if he needs that so bad, why can't he just do it himself? he's a big boy, and he's perfectly capable of doing it. god, it's like he's a four year old who needs help tying his freakin' shoelaces. Do you want me to help you button up your coat too? grow a pair.'jesus.

#5 pay for the date.

bitch, are you kidding me??? you want ME to pay for what YOU ate? oh hell no. girls barely eat anything well at least I do) so I'm really no trouble. but guys? you eat like pigs. I'm not paying for all your greasy hamburgers and pizzas, bitch get a job.